Evaluate Where You Are

Short and fresh reminder from one of the best! Zig Ziglar.

Evaluate Where You Are

Where do you stand? Need some help? I can do that. Contact me.


Stress Can Be Positive

How do you view stress?

We have been told stress is always detrimental to our bodies. Not so! There is such a thing as positive stress! Let me explain…

Stress is the body’s reaction to influences coming from outside or inside. Stress has three stages.  Stage One is positive. In this stage we become alert and focused to the task at hand. This is normal. It is a temporary state…


Carrot and Stick: An Epic Fail in the 21st Century?

Leadership and motivation… are we doing it right?

Linked 2 Leadership

So, if we repair this mismatch between what science knows and what business does, if we bring our notions of motivation into the 21st century, if we get past this lazy, dangerous, ideology of carrots and sticks, we can strengthen our businesses. ~ Dan Pink

Today’s Challenge

Here’s the challenge. How do you maintain your own motivation and that of the people who work with you? Our experience tells us a balanced programme of incentives and targets is the way to go. Paradoxically, pretty much every independent laboratory and work-place study shows the opposite is true.

So what is the right approach?

Well as always it really depends.

“Offer someone the opportunity to rebuild a company or reinvent an industry as the primary incentive, and it will attract those drawn to the challenge first and the money second.” ~ Simon Sinek

Dan Pink, a thought leader on motivation in business…

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The Synergy of Growth, Thought, and Pain


Did you know that your brain develops according to your thoughts?

It’s true. Neuroscience experts have discovered that it actually changes positively when you think positive thoughts, developing new connections and better neural pathways. As expected, the opposite is true when thinking negative thoughts. Imagine a thriving tree versus a dying tree. That is the difference between positive and negative thinking and the results achieved in the brain. It is an actual physical change.

Knowing this, we now know that thought is action – because it brings about a physical change in our bodies.

All this information is from a world leading neuroscience expert, Dr. Caroline Leaf.

Growth, Thought, and the Law of Pain

15 invaluable laws of growth

I recently taught on this in two leadership classes on the John Maxwell book:  The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. Our group was discussing the Law of Pain.

No one likes pain. We all have to deal with it sometime. The difference is in how we handle it. Do we give it proper evaluation? Do we find ways to allow pain to motivate us? If it’s not motivating you, then what is it doing?

In simple terms, pain ALWAYS produces a result. There is no getting around it. The question is: Do we want a positive result or a negative result?

Why People Change

So let’s cover a few thoughts about pain today. First, let’s look at the reasons people change.

“3 Reasons People Change:

When they hurt enough that they have to.
When they learn enough that they want to.
When they receive enough that they are able to.”

~ Jack Davis

If you consider those reasons carefully, you will find out that there are 3 methods that life is using to try to teach us to change.  Here’s a quick look at each:

  1. Pain – When you change because you have no other option. Forcibly changed. Not comfortable.
  2. Information – When you learn enough about something that you feel empowered and ready to change.
  3. Inspiration – When you are positively motivated to change. For some, this is short-lived and they revert back to #1 or #2.

Why Does Pain Happen?

Pain happens because it is time for us to grow in an area of our life. The one possible exception I can think of to this is when someone is just flat mean to you for no obvious reason. The ball is in their court to change and grow, not yours. Keep in mind that you can help them though.

Here are some refreshing thoughts on what pain is:

Science believes that pain is nothing more than thought.

brain scanThere are people in the world who cannot feel pain. One definition of this condition is called Congenital Analgesia. Another is called Hypoalgesia. Those are just two of many. In these conditions, the body is equipped with everything it needs to feel pain… except the connection between the brain and the pain sensors.

Pain is a processed thought in the conscious mind. When the brain is unconscious, you feel no pain… which means that the unconscious mind feels no pain.

Psychiatrists have labeled some people as emotional masochists.

All of us either know someone, or has heard of someone who is an emotional masochist. This is the type of person that keeps going back to bad relationships or other bad scenarios. They return to self abusive situations. For example, the woman who always returns to a man who abuses her, or the man who goes back to an abusive woman.

So why did I bring that up?

Some of us are emotional masochists without our knowledge or consent. Some of us don’t need any help from someone else because we beat up on ourselves! It could be that we are just not aware of it.

“Injustice happens once… but your mind can make it happen 5000 more times. Your focus creates your feelings.”
– Dr. Mike Murdock

Revisiting a bad experience can be more painful than the original event.

How often do we think about a wrong that’s been done to us? Do we beat ourselves for something that was not in our power to control? Why do that? It is emotional masochism.

treeThis is where I must reference back to what I started this blog post with. Our thoughts create (or destroy) in our mind. More negative thinking = a stronger, more well-worn, well-traveled path to negativity, making it easier to think negative the next time. Not only that, but it destroys the “tree” of neuropathic connections in our brain.

Consider again the dead tree. Wouldn’t you rather have a living tree?

So what should we do to gain the “living tree” in our mind?

“Evaluating painful experiences CORRECTLY will bring your greatest growth.”

~ Jack Davis

How do you evaluate painful experiences? Are you asking yourself questions that you really don’t want the answer to? Your subconscious mind will try to answer the questions you are asking. With that in mind, do you want to ask yourself “What did I do to deserve this?” or “Why do these things always happen to me?” Are those things that you want an answer to? The answer won’t be positive for you.

“It’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you respond to what happens to you.”

~ Jack Davis

So we should evaluate pain or an attack in light of how we can turn it into a positive. We don’t want to relive it. We don’t want a negative answer. What we want is a positive result that motivates us! Can you think of a positive question to ask yourself in response to a painful situation? (I’d love to hear your comments on this below.)

Managing Pain

In what area of your life are you experiencing the most pain? Wherever that is, that is the place that needs you to manage it more. Is it finances? Where could you manage it better? What can you do to be better at managing your budget? Is it health? How can you approach things to improve your health? Is it stress? How can you find ways to manage stress? There are many resources on all of these.

Granted, a wrong done to you could be something out of your control. However, you are in charge of managing your response. If something gets you angry, find a constructive way to release your anger. Build something, shoot baskets, go on a run or a bike ride. Physical exertion is great for releasing tension.

tkd-kick-silhouetteFor me, it’s Tae Kwon Do. It makes a huge difference in my attitude. I have gone to class in a very bad mood and walked out very positive.

What happened?

The brain again. Enzymes are excreted in the brain when you exercise. You not only get a healthier body when you exercise, you also get a healthier brain with a better attitude.

What if I can’t exercise?

All of us can find an activity that is soothing. Playing music. Reading a book. Relaxing in a candlelit room. Praying. Meditating. Worship.

What’s important is that we find a way to calm ourselves and think of ways to overcome the wrong. If we engage in any negative thoughts, it results in damage to our “tree.”

One last thing – once in a while a negative thing happens because it is a roadblock on a path that we are not supposed to be on. It is a sign that something needs to change.

So there you have it, seek out constructive solutions… and always remember:

“Everything in life happens for a reason and it serves me, I am not its victim.”
Anthony Robbins

What thoughts will you choose today?

Some of my projects:

Pinnacle Leadership Coaching | Jacked Up On Quotes
ExemplarOne | Team Xtreme | truth.passion.excellence

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Breaking the Top Four Leadership Myths

true - false myth

Myth 1: It’s Lonely At The Top

busted - rusted

Truth: If it’s lonely at the top, you’re not doing it right.

What are the attributes of a true leader?

  • Personable – love to be close to people
  • Generate high morale on their team
  • Empower others to come along with them
  • Place great value on others
  • Inspiring
  • Engage those around them
  • Lead by example
  • Visionary


Myth 2: Stubborn People Are Toughest To Lead

busted - rusted

Truth: The toughest person to lead is always yourself.

Truth: You must first lead yourself well in order to lead others well.

If you were to reflect on your leadership of others, you may find you have been viewed as:

  • Prideful
  • Unrealistic
  • Rigid
  • Autocratic
  • Timid

What created this behavior?

What did you learn from it?

Lesson: We should be good followers first.

  • No one is an island
  • Everyone follows someone
  • Following the right people keeps us on an even keel
  • Everyone could potentially have a voice in your life
  • Not everyone’s voice is valid for your life. Analyze and dissect
  • Your voice is the most important voice you hear

Who inspires you? Encourages? Motivates?

  • They are your leaders.

Who do you inspire? Encourage? Motivate?

  • Those are the ones you lead.


Myth 3: Leaders Are Born, Not Made

busted - rusted

Truth: Leadership is a learned skill set, not a talent given.

In my experience:

  • Out of over twenty years of listening to leaders speak, none of them stated that they were given the gift of leadership at birth.
  • All true leaders are humble, knowing that anyone can learn what they learned and do what they do.
  • Some people are born with the desire to lead, but they still have to learn the skill set.
  • Conversely, many great leaders have stated that they were not born with the desire to lead, but became a leader by learning the skill set.
  • Some leaders became leaders because they were forced into a situation where they had to.
  • What is the secret then?
    • Training
    • Application

It is essential that we learn, but just as essential that we apply what we learn.


Myth 4: You Must Have a Title in Order to Lead

busted - rusted

Truth: Leadership is influence. Anyone that you influence, you are leading.


Right now… where you are… at this very moment… you lead someone.

  • Children
  • Siblings
  • Parents (yes, it’s true!)
  • Friends
  • Co-workers
  • Church family


Those who lead well where they are grow into those leadership positions with the official title.

  • Leadership is a daily process.
  • You never outgrow leadership.
  • Leadership has goals, but no final destination.
  • Leadership has no days off.
  • You must lead well in the small things before you will ever lead well in the bigger things.


I will end with 2 high quality quotes from famous leaders:

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams

If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way. – Napoleon Hill

Some of my projects:

Pinnacle Leadership Coaching | Jacked Up On Quotes
ExemplarOne | Team Xtreme | truth.passion.excellence

Overcoming a Crisis

Make no mistake about it, there will be moments when a crisis strikes. Life has a way of making sure that happens. It seem that none of us can escape it. Because of a crisis, you may feel like your life has been a waste.

Wisteria TunnelIn my experience, no one is always happy, excited, or hopeful. We may not always see progress. At times we see things slipping backwards. Often through no fault of our own…

Yet, often through our own mistakes as well. Everyone makes mistakes, the mistake is not the important part, the lesson is.

Here is a key truth to overcoming our mistakes:

Admitting your mistake quickly positions you to extract wisdom from it

That’s right. You learn when you admit your mistakes openly and transparently.

Laugh them off, brush them off, learn the lesson, and move on to your next (even greater) accomplishment!

You see, pain births a willingness to change. No matter what has to change around you, the first thing to change is YOU. Renew your mind to what a crisis is to you.

These steps may help:

Understand that your feelings are created by your focus

What you are focusing on determines how you feel. Here are a few ways to change your feelings:

  • Through focus
  • Through music
  • Through the people around you
  • Through praise

And if you are so inclined…

  • Through worship

Understand that your feelings can change as quickly as they arrived

Did you suddenly get upset at something? Then you are able to suddenly get happy again! It’s all a matter of what you decide to focus on. That will get your joy back.

Nothing is ever as bad as it first appears

What you see as a loss is actually an investment – if you perceive it through new eyes. Bad times can activate great relationships. Think about it, when the bad time hit, your fair weather friends left, didn’t they? But your true friends stuck with you. Your relationship with them is now cemented even better than before. What a wonderful gift to receive! Absolutely priceless in my book.

Quitting does not improve your life

WOW, WOW, WOW! This one hit me strongly the first time I read it. It just never occurred to me that QUITTING HAS NO REWARD. What does quitting give you? Regret, guilt, shame, more fear, less faith. Nope, I don’t want any of those, I’ve had enough of feeling those things. So I have decided today that I’m not quitting. How about you?

Endurance is a bridge

Everyone walks through a wilderness experience. Everyone walks through the rough places. Everyone experiences crisis, even those who seem to “have it all together.” Get real. They don’t. If you could see deeper into their lives, you would see that they don’t have it all together.

Instead, see that your endurance will increase access to someone – a friend, someone to help you, someone to encourage you, someone to help you solve the problem.

Your endurance is a testimony of encouragement to others

Someone is watching your life. Someone is learning from what you are doing. Someone is secretly rooting for you to win. People love to see the underdog win. So if you are feeling like that underdog today, take courage in knowing that when you do win, it will be a heroic and inspirational story! You will encourage others with it! So today, allow encouragement to sink in. You will win if you do not give up.

Always know that I am here to help put things in perspective and to be your friend and encourager! Write me today if you are in need of any of my help.

Some of my projects:

Pinnacle Leadership Coaching | Jacked Up On Quotes
ExemplarOne | Team Xtreme | truth.passion.excellence